thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
