he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My balls are so social today.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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