I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
