I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
