My room smells like vodka and shame
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
