I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
this hospital has no fireball
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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