idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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