are you so shy because you have an std?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
