Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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