The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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