based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
