garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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