U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
