i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just had sex on a roof
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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