Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I love having hate sex.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
