How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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