I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
