so that wasnt chicken after all
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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