hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
