I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
