my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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