Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
