Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
