is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
