If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
