it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
