He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
