Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I need to calm my uterus...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
