Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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