Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
