She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
