I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
sarcasm needs its own font
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
