Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
