WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
