no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
