Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
