Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
