I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize
