i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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