I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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