I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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