I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
