summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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