i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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