And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
