"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
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