Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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