he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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