Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
