I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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