Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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